back here again.

Why? WhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhy!? Why do I fail every single time I try to be good, try to be better.

It is so hard to try and pick myself up again when I know I'll be back right where I started eventually. Maybe it'll be tomorrow, maybe the day after, maybe even a week.

But I will be back here, sitting on the floor, surrounded by empty packaging. Feeling so full. Full of food, hatred, anger, regret. The pressure hurts, the constant strain of my bloated stomach is only reminding me how weak I am. I wish I could make it all go away but I can't so all I'm left with are my tears. Salty and unrelenting. It's not a good cry. I don't feel better, not at all. If anything, they make me feel worse, pathetic.

Why can't I stop this. I feel so weak, I don't want to have to live like this.

It's not fair.