Am I being a bad daughter?

Problem/Goal:

Title: "I’ve Been My Family’s Breadwinner Since 16. Now That I Have a BF, I’m Suddenly the Villain?"

I don’t even know where to start. I just need to let this out.

I’m 21, and I’ve been the breadwinner of my family since I was 16. Typical eldest daughter story—worked my ass off, put my dreams on hold, sent my siblings to school, paid the bills, helped my parents because "ganun talaga." No one even had to ask me to do it. I just knew it was my responsibility. And for the past five years, I did it without complaints.

Then I met someone. My first boyfriend. He’s kind, supportive, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I matter too. I still do everything for my family, but now I also have something for myself.

And suddenly, that’s a problem.

The moment they found out, they started acting weird. Passive-agressive comments, guilt-tripping me—“Nagbabago ka na,” “Baka mapabayaan mo na kami,” “Masyado ka nang busy.” I’m still giving them money. I’m still doing everything I did before. But now, just because I have a relationship, they’re acting like I’m abandoning them?

It’s crazy how Filipino families want you to be a martyr forever. The moment you try to do something for yourself, you’re selfish. Like I don’t have my own life to live? My mom even said, “Kami nagpalaki sa’yo, tapos ibang tao ang inuna mo?” AS IF I HAVEN’T BEEN PRIORITIZING THEM MY WHOLE LIFE.

And the worst part? If I were a guy, this wouldn’t even be an issue. My male cousins have girlfriends, don’t give a single centavo to their families, and no one cares. Meanwhile, I do one thing for myself, and I’m the villain?

I love my family, but I’m so, so tired. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I gave my whole life to them and forgot to live for myself. But right now, it feels like I don’t even have a choice.

:'(