Trying not to have a panic attack..

Im trying to keep my head from spinning but I have little support. Even using all the aid the government gives its not enough.

I need to work but family won't watch my kids. They get off on being toxic and watching me struggle but hav no issue using me.

I just got off the phone with CAPS( Gov funded daycare and they'll only cover a portion. Only 137 a week) the daycare is 380 for my daughter full time and 305 for my son.

I can't pay the remainder. It's too much.. I'm trying to take out student loans but I max out. I was in an accident my car totaled so I'm using a rental which is 274 a week.

With my brother pulling out on me to work ( which is fine he has his own life. He blamed me for him being behind in life but atleast tell me in advanced) I had to miss a day of work and tommorow I'll just have to tell my boss I'll work part time. Idk.

It's so wild how everything is up in the air. Hopefully my boss understands and let's me work part time. It's like everything can be pulled from up under my feet at the blink of an eye. I'm trying to be self sufficient and not need my family ever..

Bc they don't want to help really anyway.

It's just hard not to worry. I don't want to lose my place.

I'm looking for work from home jobs, I'm finishing up my school requirements so I can be clinically compliant for nursing school next month. I feel it's alot coming at me.

I realized when I'm stressed I get very absent minded. Today I had to get my immunizations, and finish financial aid for school with 2 toddlers screaming and pulling on me, financial aid on the phone and going to the store to get dinner. She was on speaker phone while I was doing all this had to take my daughter to potty. Thankfully got it done.. after shopping I checked out and paid for food ...then I realized.. I lost my keys.

I searched walmart,asked security and customer service ..Just to go outside and find out I left them in my car ... 🙄

I just want to get to the point I can look back on this and laugh.

Right now I'm a bundle of nerves being a single parent doing it all no help is hard as hell. This shit ain't it. This ain't that.

Tips please.